How to Deal with the School

There are many approaches to this issue. There is no one size fits all. These are some guidelines to use if your child is getting abused at school. This GREATLY depends on the schools bullying procedures.

Once the abuse is reported to you by your child:
1. First of all, commend your child for coming to you about this problem. Stay calm and gather as much information as you can from your child. Who was involved including witnesses? When and where is the abuse taking place? How often? What exactly are they doing to you?

2. Immediately contact either the teacher or the school principal depending on where the abuse is taking place. I suggest phone calls and letters/emails. You MUST document all your contact with the adminstration. This will make them more accountable especially if the situation escalates.

3. Ask the school aminstrators to do an investigation. Witnesses are VERY important. From this point, it will be up to the school's policies and procedures. Learn these polices and procedures and act accordingly.

4. After the investigation, if is determined that the abuse is taking place, hopefully the school will contact the accused bully's parents. This is the better scenario because the bully's parents are hearing it from the school and not an emotional parent. Some parents have no idea their child was engaging in bullying behavior.

In most cases, if the accused bully parents are not delusional, the parent will jump right on the issue and resolve it quickly. I have seen some parent make their kids write an appology letter to the kid they abused and read it in front of the class. Problem solved!!

5. Other times, the accused bully's parents are in denial or simply do not care. In this case, this parent was a bully themselves and do not have the empathy to care that their kid is abusing another. The school adinistrators may need to call them in for a meeting and try to get them to face the problem. Perhaps in house suspension with anti bully training might be required to get the bully to learn what they are doing is wrong and hurtful since they are not learning it a home.

This is really going to depend upon if the parents care. If you are not getting satisfaction from the administration, then that is a whole other issue and perhaps another blog topic. Do NOT give up. There is still plenty you can do.

For more information visit www.akka.com

Are Parents the Cause of Bullying?

In many cases, kids become bullies because of what they have learned from their parents. Parents have to take a close look at their own behavior. Parental behavior can create both bullies and targets depending on the family dynamic and the personalities of the children.

Even something as subtle as gossiping is a form of bullying. If you are gossiping about others in front of your kids, you are sending the message that this kind of behavior is acceptable.

If you are the kind of parent who lets everyone push you around(including a spouse), kids pick up on this and think this is the way they are supposed to behave. It can also work the other way. If you are a push over parent, your child may actually be bully training on YOU!!!! They figure if they can push around an adult, other kids are that much easier.

If you are an over bearing control freak parent, you might be setting up your kids to either become bullies or targets. Sometimes kids will believe that they have to control everyone and everything around them at all costs because this is the way they get treated at home. OR it might beat them into being too submissive and lead them to become targets. Once again, this depends on the personality of the child.

Push over parents need to step up and establish some guidelines and be consistent with enforcing them.

Control freak parents need to pick and chose battles and act in the best interest of the children. If you chose to do what you always have done, do not be surprised if you kids are getting bullied or become bullies themselves.

The good news is that this can be easily changed once parents become aware of the example they are setting.

My experience with kids is that they will do half what you do well and twice what you do bad. Be mindful of how you act around your kids. Monkey see, monkey do.

Whether kids are bullies or targets, training at AKKA will teach both about developing ASSERTIVE behavior that will be used constructively. To learn more about our programs. Visit www.akka.com

AKKA's Bully Proof Master Program

We offer a program that provides a practical approach to both resolving immediate bullying issues and preventing future abuse.









This is a General Outline of Our UNIQUE program.
1. Define bullying.
2. Teach who the bullies are and what kinds of behaviors to watch for.
3. How bullies and targets are created.
3. What are eggers and bystanders.
4. Address the potential problems if bullying is not addressed.
5. Review many proven dos and don'ts when dealing with bullies.
6. Teach parents how to work with the school administration to solve bullying problems.
7. Physically teach proper postures,body languages, and voice control to help fend off bullies.
8. Run through a series of age specific interactive drills teaching how to handle different types of bullying scenarios.
9. How to handle cyberbullying.
10. Cover more options for continued bully proof training.

Seminars will vary depending upon age and grade levels. Contact AKKA TODAY if you are interested in having YOUR child take our Bully Proof Master Program or if you would like us to come to YOUR school to help make it Bully Proof. Visit www.akka.com or call 781-331-8008

Will Taking Classes at AKKA Help My Child with Getting Bullied?

ABSOLUTELY!!! If you child is getting bullied, there is a reason. The bully, like a preditor, is able to hone in on your child's target traits. These traits need to be changed.

It is a common misunderstanding that taking Martial Arts is just about fighting. In some schools, this is true. At AKKA, we teach the Martial Arts as a way of life and learning fighting techniques is the vehicle we use toward a better way of life.

Here is how it works at AKKA to keep YOUR child bullyproof.

1. YOUR child will immediately start excercising and will feel good about themselves. Since we are one of the few Martial Arts schools in the area who actualy give challenging but age specific warm ups/work outs, you will see immediate results and build over time. As they feel themselves get stronger, their self esteem comes up.

2. YOUR child will be surrounded with more positive role models and other positive kids who are all respectful to each other. This helps YOUR child have a more positive attitude.

3. YOUR child will be in a SAFE haven where they will be encouraged instead of ridiculed. We create a diciplined and supportive environment that is condusive to learning, therfore giving students the opportunity to perform and succeed. Students are constantly being taught positive messages and character education.

4. YOUR child will be focused on a goal that is dependent on their own individual efforts. While they are focused on goals, it takes their focus away from their bully problem. At AKKA, we have a belt system that is an individual achievment rewards system.

5. YOUR child will be learning certain postures and body language that will be practiced over and over which will help them change their "target" status and their ability to stand up for themselves. We teach our student to be ASSERTIVE. The bullies will start to notice this change over time and in most cases, will move on to other "easier" targets without incident.

6. YOUR child will have a more independant mind set over time and will not feel the need to follow the crowd as much. This will prevent them from becoming bully bystanders or bully followers.

7. MOST IMPORTANT! YOUR child will be learning practical self defense skills to BACK UP their abilility to stand up for themselves. Competance builds confidence. This is where AKKA is the BEST and where most martial arts schools drop the ball. Most build a FALSE sense of confidence especially if it is a sport martial art. Kids need to believe that they can take care of themselves if they had to.

These are some of the reasons training at AKKA will help prevent your child from getting bullied. Since our programs are year round instead of seasonal, YOUR child will have the support and consistency to be successful.

Contact us RIGHT NOW at www.akka.com to learn more about how we can bullyproof your child.

These are some of the excuses people will use to not enroll.

1. "Martial Arts will make my child more agressive." Nothing could be further from the truth. At AKKA, ALL students are immediately taught that what they are learning is for self improvement and self defense. Our message gets through because we create a healthy balance of respect and fear. The consequences are not fun if they are caught bullying or being too agressive with others inside or outside the school. In other words, they are ACCOUNTABLE for their actions. Bullies are usually not held accountable which is why the continue to issue abuse.

2. "We don't have time." Nonsense!!!! Be honest with yourself. If you are reading this blog it is because your child is getting bullied. Everything you have tried has not worked. Training at AKKA WILL work if you put in the time and effort. Nothing worth while is easy.

3. "My child is in other activities and cannot make time." Once again, what is more important and how's that working for you? Is chasing a soccer ball around a muddy field that has no long term beneifit more important than building your child's self esteem in our program that will last a lifetime? You have to decide. At AKKA, we have a class each day for each age group which gives a great deal of schedule flexibility.

4. "Karate is too expensive." It all comes down to what you value and what you are basing this excuse on. The fact that you are reading this blog means you have a problem. AKKA has the solution. If you are ok stressing out each day wondering if YOUR child is going to get terrorized, then you are right, karate is too expensive. Better to buy coffee and lottery tickets than to invest in YOUR child's safety and well being.

NOTE: This bully problem is too important to just go to the nearest & cheapest martial arts school. Make sure you chose a school that knows how to deal with bullies like AKKA does. You will get what you pay for so DO NOT go to the cheapest school you can find. It is a HUGE mistake! Visit http://biggest-mistakes-selecting-a-school.blogspot.com

5. "We just cannot commit to a program." Anything worthwhile is going to require a committment of time, money, and effort. If you want to solve this problem for the long run they you have to be willing to make the committment. Nothing more to say.

6. "I don't want my child getting hurt." NO ONE wants their child getting hurt. At AKKA, we teach our classes with safety being the number 1 priority. We use the best equipment and have the highest safety standards. Visit http://martialarts-school-safety.blogspot.com

As you can see, there is NO valid excuse. Take this problem by the horns and start solving it RIGHT NOW.

To learn more about our programs, visit www.akka.com We will be happy to explain more about how we can teach your child to be bullyproof.

Who Are the Bullies?

There are all different kinds of bullies but they all have one major common trait. They are ALL cowards!! Since bullies intentionally seek out targets that they perceive as weaker than them, that makes them cowards. Bullies do not like to be stood up to nor challenged in any way. Most bullies when called on their abusive behavior will immediately deny it or even try to put the blame on someone else. Some will even try to turn the situation around to make it as if they were the victims. I think it is important to keep this perspective when dealing with bully issues.

The most difficult of all the bully types to deal with are the ones who appear to be the most socially successful and have the favor of the authoritative adults. Many are considered "leaders" but their flock of followers do so out of fear, not respect. Many of them are star athletes, model academic students, presidents of various clubs, etc. These bullies have lost their sense of empathy because they have self esteem that is TOO high. Therefore see nothing wrong with their abusive behavior. This "Superstar" bully is usually the most masterful at the art of bullying because they do it right under the noses of the authoritative adults literally making fools of these adults. Targets have a hard time because even if they report the abuse, other witnesses will not come forward out of fear, and the authoritative adults do not believe it.

Many bullies do suffer from LOW self esteem and have to tear down others to make themselves feel good. Many of them continue the bullying behavior simply because no one has told them that it is wrong and because no one has stood up to them.

To learn more about anti bullying programs visit www.akka.com

What Is Bullying?

Bullying is defined as any consistent act intended to humiliate or intimidate. It does not just happen to kids in school or on the playgrounds. It happens in adult life as well.

If bullying issues are not addressed properly for kids in a timely fashion, there can be serious long term pyschological damage. There are many simple actions to take to solve this problem which we will address in this blog.